Open Your Eyes
by mfig
Summary: “Don’t lie to me blue, I know your in love with Wes. It’s all right...doesn’t make you any weaker. In fact, it makes you stronger, gives you purpose.”
1. Open Your Eyes

Open Your Eyes

"I can't believe that I'm actually standing here" Spike commented as he looked down at the sleeping figure of Wesley on the bed. They had fought a long and grueling battle and had miraculously won. Of course, their victory had been due to the Powers That Be and there extremely appreciated interference during the battle. All had seemed lost and then an army of light had been delivered to them.

In the end Angel had laughed of joy when they had won, but as soon as that emotion had passed tears came. He had silently mouthed "Cordelia" as he shifted his gaze to the dark sky that seemed to clearing, the sun shinning through.

Now that it was over they were left to pick up the pieces of their lives. Returning to the Hyperion Spike could feel hope flowing through the old hotel. Besides victory they had also been given back the most crucial member of their team – Wesley. His time here on earth was far from over the Powers That Be had explained.

"Take him, mend him, his destiny is of great importance" had been their only words. Unfortunately Gunn hadn't been spared, his time had been over. But he slipped away gracefully, sitting down, resting his head against the brick wall, he closed his eyes and surrender to the sweet bliss of death.

Sitting down on a near by arm chair he noticed that he was not alone in the room. Illyria stood in a dimly lit corner of the room, watching Wesley intently. When he breathed so did she, their heartbeats connected as was their fates.

Spike could feel the corners of his mouth twisting into a smirk, whether Wes wanted to admitted, Illyria was a like a small blue puppy that followed him wherever he went. Unfortunately for him she carried the face of his dead love. Wesley, in his opinion, was a far stronger man that he – such torture he could never stand.

"He's not going anywhere you know" Spike said in his usual British drawl.

"I do not wish to leave his side. He may awaken and need assistance" she answered coolly in her usual no-nonsense tone.

"Suit your self" Spike closed his eyes and allowed himself to rest. Illyria would watch him, perhaps, better than either Angel or he could.

"I feel very unnerved when presented with the possibility that he may never awaken" Illyria quietly confessed to the blond vampire.

Opening his eyes, he wondered whether he actually heard correctly. Had she just, in her own cold words, admitted to loving Wesley?

"We all do. I hate to admit it, but he kinds of grows on you...the poor bugger."

"In the beginning he was rubbish, steadily evolving as our time together lengthened. I no longer see him as below me, but neither my equal..." she quickly added, afraid of appearing weak in front of the vampire warrior. "...He is my guide now in this world. Losing him would be a great...loss. Painful even."

Illyria's last words were barely audible, but due to his ultra sensitive vampire hearing Spike was able to catch them. Unbelievably, he found himself sympathizing with the God-King. She loved him, even though she would never admit it, but Wesley would never love her. How could he? Loving her would be a mockery of his love for Fred.

Illyria had no fault when it came to Fred's death. The choice of whom she would inhabit had been out of her hands. Unfortunately, this did not matter. Her shell was Fred and the fact could never be forgotten.

"There's a demon in Africa..." Spike carefully though out his next words, the information he was about to entrust upon the ancient God would changer her life forever. Illyria was a strong warrior and could easily win the physical trials presented to her, making her human. What she did after that would be her business. "...He can help you, make you human."

Immediately her blue steely stare snapped from her guide to Spike.

"What do you speak of?" her voice strained, her eyes as wide as saucers.

"I'm speaking about you being human. Then perhaps Wesley could see you as something else then the shell of the woman he loves."

"I do not..." Illyria began to protest, but was stopped by Spike's knowing look.

"Don't lie to me blue, I know your in love with Wes. It's all right...doesn't make you any weaker. In fact, it makes you stronger, gives you purpose." Spike's own voice now carried a hit of sorrow too. His own love for a certain slayer still gnawing at his soul.

Turning around Illyria began to make her way to the door.

"I will entrust his well being onto your hands. Fail and I will kill you", where her last words before walking out of the Hyperion. For the first time since arriving, she felt as if her purpose in this world was finally clear.

She would mend him, as the bright elders had ordered. But first she had to mend herself, fix the flaws that prevented her from truly giving him what he needed...what he deserved.

A woman was all she wished to be.

TBC


	2. The Trials

Open Your Eyes: The Trials

"And through it all she offers me protection a lot of love and affection  
Whether I'm right or wrong and down the waterfall"

- Robbie Williams

Illyria could see the harbor slowly disappearing from her sight as the ship distanced itself further from Los Angeles. Sitting down on a near by cargo box she could feel an inexplicable sensation in her stomach, as if it was tying itself into a knot. Bringing her leather clad hand to her, also, leather clad stomach she wondered what could be wrong. She knew that the sensation was due to her journey and what awaited her in Africa.

Sighing to herself she found herself wishing for Wesley to be by her side, he was unlike anyone she had ever encountered in her endless years of life. Not only was Wesley strong and cunning as a warrior should be, but he was also tender and poetic. If she closed her eyes she could recall every single word of his drunken ramblings. Others under the influence of such a vast amount of alcohol would make no sense, but he...he never stopped making sense to her.

"Nothing, no one, gives me rest and I have put it to the test...nothing, no one, gives me rest...the life I live must lead to death" he would constantly repeat over his full glass of scotch. Each night she would sit by his side or at near by corner, observing him and his pain. In the darkness he would sit for hours, starring at the walls during his mourning, but he would never cry. That she respected, found it admirable.

Admiration that had been the prelude to the love she now carried within her for the mortal. She had learned to respect him, follow him without any questions...what other alternative had there been at the time. But now, things were different, no longer was she forced to follow him...she now chose to be by his side. The reason why she now found herself about to embark on such a journey....

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Wesley's eyes flutter open as he slowly regained consciousness. Once he was fully awake his eyes quickly scanned his surrounding, immediately he recognized the walls of the Hyperion. Letting a relieved sigh, he felt as if he had come back home. For an instant he even forgot about the fact that Fred was no longer with him, that instead there was a hollow empty shell left in which lived an ancient God-king.

Closing his eyes once more, he tried to block out the pain that came with all of the knowledge in his head. Things were so muddled at the moment. How in the world would he ever make sense of his life? Where would he begin?

As for Illyria he only hoped that she would grow tire of him and leave for good. Seeing her day in and day out, wearing Fred's face as if it were a mask hurt him deep down in his weary soul. Although, honestly with each passing day she looked less like Fred...the cold metallic blue making her seem as if a stranger, but there were still those instances when she would slip into full Fred mode making him sometimes wonder if she was truly gone for good. Perhaps there still remained a bit of Fred inside of Illyria deep down inside.

Scanning the corners of the room, where she usually liked to dwell he found himself surprised not to see her. He would of wagered his soul a few seconds ago that she would be waiting for him to wake up, but she was nowhere in sight.

Maybe his wish had been granted...but did he truly desire it? Having her with him was a both a joy and a pain and the same could be said about her absence.

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"What do you wish to attain from me?" the powerful demon asked as he studied the blue creature before him. She wasn't a vampire or any other ordinary demon – that he could immediately sense.

"You're a God! Why would a go need the help of a mere demon as myself?" he asked, a fury strong in his tone. Gods such as her were ancient and looked down upon any other living creature, seizing them and bending them to her will.

"I was once a powerful God. Millions worshipped before my feet, but times have change. This world is no longer same. I no longer whole dominance over anyone and do not wish to, except for my guide. I wish to please him, have him worship at my feet. Not out of fear though, out of love. The only way such devotion can be accomplished is by becoming human...I wish to become a mortal.

"Well, the mighty have fallen! A God-king dying for the love of a mortal!" the demon explained in pure delight.

"Can you help me?" Illyria asked calmly, watching herself since she could effortlessly snap him in two, but she needed him.

"Yes, I will help you but first you must endure many trials, each different and challenging. I warn you, not many make it...." With that the demon disappeared leaving Illyria alone in the darkness.

She could hear something breathing loudly, but it was quickly eclipsed by the voice of the demon.

"Your first trial has begun; you must fight the creature presented to you in absolute darkness, your love for the mortal guiding you to victory."

Illyria blue eyes try adjust themselves to the darkness, she could barely make out the outline of a large figure before her. Moving back a few steps she positioned herself for an attack, but found herself being hit from the back. Immediately her body was thrust to the wall and her face collided with the stone.

Grunting in anger she now felt the rage of a thousand Gods flowing within her, moving her fist backwards she delivered an earth shattering blow to the beast completely killing him instantly. As soon as he fell light fell upon her again and the demon as well.

"Good, but this is only the beginning, now the real trials have begun." And with that Illyria found himself standing at her throne looking down at her glorious army. But this time they were not broken piles of stone, instead they were alive and roaring with reverence towards her.

She could feel her chest tightening at the sight of the one thing she had wanted the most during her long sleep. Looking to the side she could see the demon smiling down upon the crowd.

"Your army Illyria, they are once more alive and willing to do whatever you ask of them. Does it not please you to have them once more? Your plans can be finally carried out...the world can be yours once more! Go, address them, lead them..." he encouraged her.

Taking a step forward she began to raise her arms as she would to command their attention, but then caught herself realizing that she did not wish to rule anymore...at least, not this army. She only wished to be the ruler of one and that was Wesley.

Scanning the crowd one more time she remembered the joy that all this use to bring her, but now it no longer had the same effect. The only pleasure, for her, now came from looking into his blue eyes, when he would momentarily forget who she really was. The love that radiated forth during those instances before he caught himself was enough to block out the cries of devotion from the large army.

Taking a step back and retreating from the large crowd of devotees she turned around to regard the demon, "I do not wish to rule them anymore" she simply stated and moved passed him to find herself once more in the cave.

"I offer you the world and you reject it...you've pass the second trial."

"You said the trials would be hard and yet I see they are not" Illyria's impatience was clear.

"We've come to the last trial...I said they would be hard because they are base upon your own weaknesses and desires. You desired to have your army once more, but your love for the mortal has completely rid you of it. By declining the chance to rule the world once more you have truly chosen love over power and pride – your weaknesses."

"Then what is this last trial base upon?"

"The most important thing of all...love. You must justify your love for the mortal...." Illyria's eyes connected with the demon's, she was about to open her mouth to explain, but his last words stop her, "...not to me, but to yourself".

Suddenly she now found herself in a white room starring at herself. Although, this image of herself was quite different since it was her actual true form. She had forgotten how strong and powerful her true form had been. Having grown accustomed to the small figure and hands of the shell....

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"Are you sure about this Wes? Don't you want to stay, help us start up Angel Investigations once more?" Angel tried to reason with Wesley, without him starting over again would be too hard and he would miss him. No matter how many differences between them he had grown to love the Englishman as he would his own brother.

"I'm sure Angel. I just can't do this anymore, the memories are far too painful and overwhelming...everywhere I turn I'm reminded of her." Wesley said in a distant voice.

"Where will you go?" Spike chirped in from his seat on top of the reception desk.

Looking over at the blonde vampire, Wesley gave him a small smile. "I don't know, but as soon as I figure it out I'll notify the both of you. Good luck with everything, but I have to leave now."

Taking one last glance at the Hyperion Wesley began to make his way out of the hotel, but was stopped by Angel's hand on his arm. The two men looked at each other and moved in for a hug. Normally Angel would never exhibit such affection, but this was Wes. The nerdy ex-watcher that had annoyed him to death in the beginning and now he was leaving for good.

"Remember, our doors are always open to you" Angel said as Wesley moved further away from him.

"I know" he simply answered and he was gone for good.

Walking out to his car Wesley got in and turned on the ignition. Where he would go now still a mystery to him, but the more distance he put between L.A. and himself the better. As for Illyria she would find him eventually that he was sure of and if not...he did not know.

TBC


	3. Rebirth

Open Your Eyes: Rebirth

Illyria watched her true self stare back at her, the both of them tilting in the same curious fashion, but the only difference was that she was flesh and bone and the other just an illusion. Easily she could pass her hand through her projection, but it wasn't about physical contact, instead everything was base on a different level – and emotional and mental one.

"Why do you wish to throw away everything? The chance to rule the world, pulverizing the humans right into the ground where they belong!" True anger could be seen in the old Illyria's eyes. She did not understand why in the world she would give up such power for a mere human.

"Things have change; this world is no longer as easily conquerable as before. Your heart is as hard as stone and your mind completely shut off to any kind of human emotion! I have live on this earthly plane for months and have come to appreciate the human warmth that one can offer another through a simple touch, look or kind word. It is not I who is loosing, it is you!"

With those last words Illyria could see the pure disgust etched on her former face. Many months ago she would of given anything to be once more like that, but now the mere thought made her want to cry out. She could never go back to her old way of thinking, far too much had happened and she had experienced far too many human emotions.

The earth was no longer as simple as before. She had thought herself immune to human compassion but now she found herself fighting for the chance to fully experience it. Illyria wanted another chance, another life to do things right. Make Wesley proud of the mortal she was and of the love she could give him.

As if being able to read her thoughts the image in front of her disappeared and only a bright light was left in its place. Automatically Illyria moved towards it, as if silently being told to. The closer she came to it, the warmer her skin felt, the heavier her chest also felt. Inside one could feel it, growing and spreading through her like liquid warmth – a soul of her very own, the key to Wesley's love and acceptance.

Wesley's jeep came to a stop in front of a large wooden house. Making his way inside he noticed that there was a terrace, stepping out upon it he could see the impressive view of the entire woods. Alone and secluded from any real human contact, he could feel himself finally starting to relax. Here he could finally heal and climb out of his depression.

Once inside he could see that his things had made it up here before him. Opening one of the many boxes he began to place books upon the dinning room table. First he would unpack them and then sort them out alphabetically and by subject. Over two hundred books were in his possessions and those where the ones that weren't in storage. All of them necessary for research, although he didn't really see himself doing much research now. Instead he would sleep, laugh, cry and allow himself to do all of the things in which he had denied himself the past five years.

Fighting evil every single day for almost the entire length of his life he felt like the world's oldest thirty three year old. In the end he had felt like an android, completely void of any human emotion. The cause for such behavior partly his fault, partly fate's fault and all the hard blows it had delivered into his life, also partly Illyria's fault. Her lack of any emotion or compassion having rubbed off on him since he did spent most of his time dealing with her. Their time together completely made up of him drinking himself into unconsciousness and explaining to her the origins of everything.

The warmth was no longer within her, instead it was replaced by a numbing coldness. She could feel her skin shivering, actual goose bumps on her skin...so much to be explained and her dear Wesley nowhere in sight.

Getting up from the dusty ground Illyria could see the African demon standing by the large fire, his back completely turn to her. She was stark naked but there was nothing she could do about the fact, looking around she wished for something to cover herself with. Nearing the demon she could now feel the warmth of the fire warming her sensitive skin.

Unlike before her skin was now sensitive like any other human's. Blood flowed through her veins, her heart beated and she no longer possessed her supernatural strength.

"You are mortal now, but do be warn that this new body requires great care. As for strength, you are extremely weak and must rebuild yourself from the I inside out."

"The inside as well? Does the human body not develop on its own? I was lead to understand that..." Illyria's questions were cut short by the demon's finger on her warm lips.

"The inside" he repeated once more, but this time taking the same finger and pointing at her head.

A new kind of understanding dawned upon her as she realized what he actually meant. Not only did she have to work on her physical strength and endurance, but also her mental and emotional. It would be hard work, being human but with her guide she could achieve anything!

Three Weeks Later

Spike stepped out to the Hyperion courtyard, taking out a cigarette he lit it up and allowed himself to relax. Since it was now only him and Angel the work load at Angel Investigations was absolutely hectic. This week alone they had "taken care" of two feral demon, four vampires and one small troll that loved to eat human fingers. Although different from the more glamorous pace of Wolfham & Heart eh found himself enjoying this better. Sure, it was harder then before, but the cause, now, was much nobler.

Who would of thought that he would be working with Angel, side by side, fighting the good fight against evil? Not him! At least not a couple of years ago, but so much had changed. His newly acquired soul now making him think about his actions, feel actual compassion and even develop a conscious. Yup, now he knew hold Angel must of have felt...the feeling of obligation when confronted with the need for a champion and, also, the satisfaction felt when a life was saved.

Hearing a sudden rustling from a near by bush, Spike dropped the cigarette and was poised to jump anyone that came his way. But when he saw the familiar form retreating from the bush, he backed down and immediately could sense something different.

Illyria's blue eyes connected with Spike's and she steadily made his way to him. But there was a sluggishness about her movements that had not been there before. Her grace and smoothness suddenly gone. Walking around him and taking her in he first noticed that she was dress in normal clothes – a white peasant blouse and a pair of khaki pants. Also, her hair was a shade of golden blond, her eyes still blue but with a new depth, but perhaps the most important thing of all...he could sense a heart beat and the flow of blood in her veins.

Spike's mouth hung open in disbelief. 'She had actually achieved mortality!' he thought to himself, it had almost kill him to attain a soul...he could barely imagine what she must of have gone through for the entire package.

"As you can see I am no longer immortal" she proclaimed in the same tone she always used, proper and detached, except for now there was a hint of warmth in her speech.

"I can't bloody believe it!" he exclaimed as his eyes took in every detail of her, including the bruises in her arms.

"You're all bruised up, what happened?" Spike's concern very obvious – this wasn't the same old Illyria, he thought to himself. This new Illyria would need care and attention while she built up her strength. It wasn't best to run around, without anyway of protecting yourself, in this city,

"I am far too weak to protect myself. As I much as I enjoy this new sensation within me, I also fear being attacked. You must take me to Wesley...he will protect me."

"Sorry blue, but he's not here anymore, moved to Seattle" Spike gently broke the news to her. He had taken care of Wesley just like she had made him promise, but once he was better Wesley was up and gone.

"I instructed you to take care of him! How shall I find him now!" she now grew angry, raising her fist to strike the blond vampire, her blow had absolutely no force behind it.

"Calm down and come with me inside. You're human now, remember? No more inhuman, earth-shattering strength. Now you have to build up the strength of a human."

"How long shall that take? I must find Wesley...." Illyria could feel tears ready to explode. Lately the feeling to cry had taken hold of her quiet often.

"Not too long, a year perhaps...and I know, that's too long, but Wesley's not going anywhere right now and you just can't continue this way...you won't survive", his last words truly made her snap back into reality. He was right, she concluded, her strength was of main importance at the moment and who better to help her?

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months and months into years. Three years had passed by and Illyria was now a perfect warrior once more, her teachers had taken pride and concern over her improvement through out the past years. Although it had taken longer then planned Illyria now, within the confides of the human body, was stronger, sharper and more human then ever before.

Both Angel and Spike had to agree that this no longer was Fred. Referring to her in such a way would of have been a clear mistake. Although, she had started out as Fred, Illyria by possessing her own soul and human characteristics was now entirely different person. Due to her physical changes during their training Illyria's body was much more feminine then Fred's would of ever been...the fact making her a distinct person in the eyes of the two vampires.

To them Fred had passed away and Illyria was now a completely different person that shared the same beginnings as her. Yes, her body had originally belonged to Fred, but no one could ever call her a thief or a murderess, since she had never made the actual choice of inhabiting Fred. An awful lost of a beautiful human being, but the gain of another remarkable one.

Once her training was over and they felt she was ready, Wesley's location was finally revealed to her. Bidding both her teachers goodbye Illyria found herself on a plain to Seattle. Angel and Spike had warned her off the possibility of rejection when it came to Wesley. She knew it would be hard having him except her as Illyria not the shell of Fred. But she was ready, her love giving her the patience and fortitude she needed.

Starring out the plane window she felt like a completely different women then she had been when first arriving in this world. Driving a car, programming the VCR, swimming and taking out the trash were skills she had learned and adapted herself to during the past three years in L.A. The world itself no longer puzzled her as before, but the inner realms of the human heart was still a mystery to her...especially Wesley's.

TBC


	4. Wanting

Open Your Eyes: Wanting

Wesley moved through the silent woods expertly, knowing them by memory now. The only sounds that could be distantly heard, if one strained their ear, were the flapping of wings from the birds that flew over him.

Having retrieved to the secluded woods had been a choice that he had not expected himself to make. Originally, after leaving L.A., he had wanted to go back to England, perhaps help Giles out in organizing the new council. But then the reality of it all had sunk in; he had never been a good watcher to begin with. Dealing with teenage girls and their moody behavior had never been his strong point. Although he was now a skilled fighter and possessed the amazing ability of researching the hell out of anything or anyone – his calling did not lie within the council.

His fate was somewhere; he just had to find it. For now he was content in the woods. His cabin was large and far too spacious for one person, but it allowed him the freedom he needed to get back in touch with himself. Three years had passed by already and he felt like a new person. No longer tormented by the terrible loses of his past, he only wished to focus on the future and finally finding his true calling on this earth.

Cordelia, Spike, Angel...all of them, they had been chosen to be champions, fight the good fight, but he did not see himself in the same manner. Sure, he had fought with them, walked away with a few war wounds of his own and yet, in the end, he was not a hero.

Sighing he sat down on the porch of the cabin and looked out into the impressive scenery before him. The only thing that still worried him was Illyria. According to Spike and Angel she had dropped of the face of the universe. Sometimes he wondered whether she even knew he was alive, did his death grief her so much that she had walked away from it all?

Speculations, that's all he had to go on. A small part of him often missed her. It hadn't been her fault, he had concluded once the pain of Fred's death had finally settled. Illyria had not chosen Fred, Knox had. She had only invaded the host that had been presented to her.

Of course, in the beginning he had hated her, for parading around in Fred's body, using her image to torture him. But now he felt pity for her. So naïve and unsure of the world around her, she had been and in an odd way, he had loved that part of her. Being able to teach her about every small curiosity, in a way, had been an unintentional therapy for him. His duty as her "guide" having been the only thing that had kept him sane through out those last months before the apocalypse.

One Week Later

Illyria sat on the bed of her small motel room, after making numerous phone calls she had finally tracked down Wesley. It hadn't been easy, but that had been one thing that Angel and Spike had hammered into her brain – Patience. By contacting all the near by antique book dealers she had been able to obtain information from them about a certain secluded, British collector that would buy from them on a regular basis.

Wesley had always been so fond of books, Illyria recalled, she could still recite every single word of the Shakespeare he had forced her to read. He had tried to teach her about love through his works, but in the end it had all been hopeless. What he had been trying to teach her through the writing of dead poets was already within her, slowing growing with each day by his side.

Now that she was human and could finally comprehend and feel human emotions on every level the words, often, found their way into her thoughts. Certain lines suddenly made sense to her...the mere thought of Romeo and Juliet causing her to cry herself to sleep.

Standing up and grabbing her light jacket, she could feel her stomach grumbling. It was almost noon and she still hadn't eaten any breakfast. First she would go to the near by dinner and then she would be on her way to Wesley. Three years she had waited patiently for the moment of the reunion and in a few hours it would finally come.

A soft knock on his door brought Wesley out of the light slumber he had been under. Getting up from the couch he smoothed his dark hair as he made his way to the door. Most probably it was someone from UPS or some kind of delivery service, who else could it be?

Opening the door he found himself absolutely floored when he saw who was standing on the other side.

"Illyria?" he asked with uncertainty. Her eyes were still so amazingly blue, but everything else about her was so different. Her form was still Fred's but barely resembled the state it had been in when Fred had possessed it. She was smaller now, but at the same time more sensual around the hips and bosom, her body clearly a finely tuned fighting machine, but far more feminine then Fred could have ever been.

Looking deep into his eyes Illyria allowed herself to smile and took a step forward. Immediately Wesley recoiled into the house. He still couldn't decide whether he was glad to see her or disappointed.

"Why are you here?" he asked sharply.

Illyria was not surprise by his reaction, but at the same time it caused her great pain to see his discontent for her. In her most private of thoughts she had wished for him to greet her with arms wide open, allowing her to finally love him, accepting her as his lover....

"The last thing I wish to do is make you uncomfortable, I just wanted to see you and have you see me" she told him honestly, the concept of lying or covering up her true purpose never having occurred to her.

'Painfully honest Illyria' Wesley thought to himself as he came to stand in front of her. Extending his hand toward her face he now caressed the soft skin. She was no longer cold to the touch as before, instead she was warm and soft.

Leaning into his touch she couldn't help but close her eyes as his hand traveled down her neck and all the way to her hand.

"My God, you're human!" he exclaimed in a shocked whisper. Wesley could feel a storm of mixed feelings forming within him. In a way it was as if Fred had been returned to him, once more her body was mortal – breathing and living. But it was no longer his lost love; instead it was an entirely new person...a different version of Fred, the same body but a different soul.

Illyria brought their joint hands up to her chest so that he could feel her heart beating...just for him.

"But how?" he asked out loud.

"Spike sent me..." she began to explain but was cut off by Wesley's own rambling.

"Of course, Spike. He had won his soul from that African demon, but it had been at a great cause."

Looking away from his eyes, she did not want him to realize the great trouble she had gone through to become human, the power she had walked away from for him. If there had been one thing she had learned in her three years of being human, it was humility. Sometimes, she had concluded, that there were certain things that should remain unsaid...only necessary truths.

TBC


	5. The Looking Glass

Open Your Eyes: The Looking Glass

Wesley watched her intently, her every move fascinating to him. Although it had been two days since her arrivals, he still couldn't get pass the fact that she was truly mortal. As for joy, there was none when it came to her new "change". Instead there was a bit of resentment, not at her, but at fate.

Why now? After he had finally been moving on with his life, mending old wounds that hadn't properly heal before. Then here she was once more shaking his life upside down, causing him to feel as if he was sinking into a never-ending abyss.

Since that fateful day she hadn't left his side, only to go to her motel and then return to his cabin. Occupying a guest bedroom next to his, he found himself sitting by her bedside every night watching her sleep.

Wesley wondered what she dreamt about. Did she dream in black and white as he often did?

There were so many questions running through his mind and yet he couldn't fandom how to begin to ask them. But he knew that some sort of action had to be taken, he just couldn't let it lie like this.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Illyria could sense his presence in the room. Each night he would sit by her side and study her, quietly marveling at the fact that she was no longer hollow. That her skin was warm and blood actually flowed through her veins. There was no longer anything "cold" or "blue" about her, he couldn't call her a "smurf" anymore...whatever that was. Instead the only thing that remained blue about her was her eyes and in a way, her mood.

All she longed for was some sort of definite reaction from him, instead he just sat there thinking himself into a frazzled mess, although he couldn't see it, she could and soon he would snap.

Her Wesley was brave, loyal but also dense as hell when it came to matters of the heart. Although he could name every demon on the face of the planet, he could not decide whether he was at least glad to see her or horribly disappointed.

He had probably expected Fred – her big brown eyes and Texas drawl...completely the opposite of her. Fred had been bubbly and shy, she was calm but bold in her actions and words. Her accents had been slow and warm like molasses, while she possessed a more clinical crisp one. The differences between them where numerous – Wesley, as well as she, had realized that a different soul in the same body could result in an entirely different individual.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

The days kept on passing and still nothing. They would inhabit the same house, exercise together, cook and even watch movies late into the night. Then finally one day Illyria proved herself wrong. Instead of Wesley snapping, she had been the one to finally go over the edge with the present situation.

"Enough!" she screamed out, getting up and walking away from the couch and television. Passing back and forth she felt like a million thoughts and emotions were running through her, making her hands shake.

"Enough of what, Illyria?" Wesley asked, already knowing the answer to the question.

"I am sick of waiting for you to decide whether you are glad or mad at me? Does it even register in your brain that I am human now. I am just like any other woman! I can cry, laugh, bleed, breath, feel and...love" she said the last word in a near whisper as she settled by his side, placing her hand on his cheek.

For a second Wesley leaned into her touch, closing her eyes. Why did this body hold such power over him? Or was he more attached to the soul then the body it was contained in?

Suddenly his eyes snapped open and he immediately pulled away from her, as if her touch had burned him.

"Love? You love!" he began muttering out loud, not particularly talking to her. "I loved, Illyria! I loved Fred so much that it practically killed me after you infiltrated her...broke her soul and left her an empty shell!" he cried out as he moved further away from her.

A single tear ran down Illyria's face, he blamed her for Fred's death. All this time she had believed Wesley fair and just enough to realize that she had never targeted Fred as her host – Knox had been the one to make the decision, never her!

"I never chose Fred and you know that! I came here, to you, wanting so much to be accepted. But instead you just leave me...in limbo, not knowing whether you could ever...." Illyria stopped, her pride not allowing her to continue.

"Love you." Wesley finished what she dared not say. His eyes suddenly found there way to the ground.

Looking back up at her he could see that whatever he decided to do at the moment, would ultimately determine their future.

"I could never love you Illyria. There is too much of her within you. The both of you are now blurred together...you're an abomination, never meant to be!" his last words were practically spitted out, the bitterness of them making him physically hurt.

Closing her eyes immediately after the words left his lips, Illyria felt like no longer taking another breath. Holding her up high she got up from the sofa and straighten her shoulders. Walking past him she left him grounded to the spot by the utter lack of warmth that had been in her eyes.

Forever Wesley would remember the dying of the light in her eyes. For a faint moment during her declaration of love there had been so much life in her gaze, but the moment abomination had been uttered, it had died out.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Standing in the same spot, the door still open although it had already been hours since her departure he suddenly felt a pang in his heart. Falling to his knees he looked up at the open door – what had he done?

The life in her eyes...he had seen it before, right before he had died. It had been Fred's image that had been presented to him, but in fact it had all been Illyria. The warm caress, the tears spilled, the kiss given, but most importantly the words of love that been spoken – those had all been Illyria, not Fred.

"I love you. My love. Oh, my love."

The unknown icebergs that had been around his heart were suddenly melting away, replaced by the growth of something hot and alive. Holding a hand to his heart he knew he had to find her. Getting up he knew the only other place she would go...but he had to move fast.

His happiness had slipped from his grasp once; he wouldn't make the same mistake twice!

TBC


	6. Blue Eyes Blues

Open Your Eyes: Blue Eyes Blue

Angel watched Illyria and Spike as they trained. Although she had refused to discuss anything that had occurred in Seattle, they both knew that indeed something had happened and it hadn't been good. The logical conclusion was that Wesley had rejected her, perhaps not able to wrap his head around the fact that Fred's body was alive but it now had a new "owner".

As much as he had grown to care for Illyria, he still couldn't blame Wesley for doing what he had done. It wasn't easy, letting one's guard down and loving someone that had the same face of their lost love. All the grief that Wesley went through...having come dangerously close to losing his sanity...loving Illyria would be like loving a ghost.

If one looked closely, beyond the surface, then it would be apparent that although the body was the same, Illyria was completely different. One would even venture far enough to say that she was nothing at all like Fred.

Fred had been innocent and naïve at times. Her strength had been her brain, always hiding behind others to protect her when it came to physical strength. But Illyria was different. Instead of relying on others to protect her, she let no man fight for her. Her strength was mortal, but still above average when compared to other humans and although she was smart, her intelligence was based more on wisdom rather than science and facts.

There had never been any confusion when it came to distinguishing the two. Fred had been Fred and Illyria was Illyria. He and Spike had helped her grow into a strong human and consequently had ended up becoming very fond of her. They would always lament and mourn Fred's untimely death, but life had to go on.

Besides, Illyria was deep down a good person. In a way, she had always been. Never had she killed without a justification. As for now, her new soul gave her a conscious, not allowing to do harm against anyone who didn't deserve it. Just like Fred had been, Illyria had also become an important addition to Angel Investigation. Her prior experience was priceless and they used it to their advantage.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Come on Illyria" Spike tried to goat her, get her adrenalin up and going. But nothing really seemed to work...ever since her return she had been so depress. Breathing, sleeping, eating, fighting and doing everything else purely because she had to, not because she wanted to.

He wondered what Wesley had to say to upset her so much, Illyria was not the type to grow upset easily, but something gravely upsetting had to of have been said. Honestly, he hadn't been surprised to see her standing at their doorstep once more. Sometimes love just isn't enough....

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Illyria made her way up the stairs of the Hyperion. It was late and both Spike and Angel had stepped out to do a little "patrolling". She would of have joined them, but they insisted that they could handle it and besides she could use the rest. Lately her mood had been quite depressive and all she wanted to do was close her eyes and surrender to sleep. At least when one slept all their problems momentarily disappeared.

Sometimes she wished she could disappear. Having sacrificed everything for him, for his love and he had sent her away as if she meant nothing. Now she was mortal and stuck in a world in which she could never have the one thing she wanted most of all – love.

In the beginning when she had been building up her strength and learning how to deal with her new "condition", all she had thought above was love. Reading every romance novel she could get her hands and dreaming of the day in which Wesley would look down at her and smile with so much tenderness in his soul.

But now that was all over and there was nothing she could do. Perhaps it had all been a great mistake on her behalf. Sighing to herself she was almost at the stop of the stairs when the sound of the lobby doors opening stopped her. Looking down she saw that it was the last person she had imagined ever seeing again – Wesley.

Their eyes were glued to each other and neither could say a word.

Finding his voice finally he moved to say what he had been dying to get of his chest. "Illyria...." Suddenly whatever might of have been said was cut short by the inopportune return of Angel and Spike with two very unexpected guest....

TBC


	7. Old Friends

Open Your Eyes: Old Friends

Wesley couldn't believe what was happening, he had been prepared to tell Illyria his feelings – the crazy storm of emotions that was brewing inside him. He didn't really know one hundred percent what he actually felt for her, but it was definitely something far stronger than himself. But now, all that had taken a back seat.

There was trouble lurking ahead and, again, it was their time to save the world once more. It had been two years since the last time such actions had been needed and now here he was again. This time, though, the players were a bit different.

Spike and Angel had showed up with two unexpected visitors – Buffy and Giles. It had been such a long time since he had seen Buffy and almost a decade since seeing Giles. He had heard of their progress with the new Council. Apparently after having ditched her last fling, "The Immortal", Buffy had suddenly had all sorts of revelations and in the end had stayed in London to help Giles.

Everyone else from all the gang was moving on with their lives, settling down and getting married or globe trotting. The only two that still kept at it, fighting the good fight was Giles and his slayer.

That had been an hour ago and he still couldn't get pass his unbelievably bad luck. Had he just been able to have five minutes alone with Illyria then perhaps the stomping pain in his heart would of have already been alleviated. He knew that what ever evil was out there was bad and that his attention was needed on this particular case, but it was as if his head was on the case and his heart somewhere else.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Illyria watched as they all discussed what was happening. There was trouble and by the look of the two strangers, it was very serious. Instead of participating in the actual conversation Illyria watched quietly from the outside. Her blue eyes would carefully study Wesley. She could tell that he wasn't entirely devoted to what was happening in front of him.

He had wanted to tell her something, perhaps what she had always longed for, but was now scared out of her mind to actually hear. What scared her was what would come next. After finally gaining his love, what would become of them? Would they move back to Seattle? Stay in L.A.? Marry? Live together? All the questions running through her mind were endless and a bit frightful, but in the end – the fear would naturally go away, that she was dead sure of, and the thrill and utter bliss of it all would finally sink in.

But there was still the chance that she was wrong, that he didn't love her. As for that situation, she also had tons of questions.

Basically it all boiled down to two very important questions for her: Did he love her? And if not, would his friendship be enough for her to live with?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"We're not exactly sure on what kind of force we are dealing with. All we know is that its intentions are deadly. Seven of our potential slayers have already been killed and there are possibly more being killed right now as we speak..." Giles hurried rambling was interrupted by Wesley's own crisp voice.

"Calm down Giles, we need to do this in an orderly fashion, gathering all the facts. Now, you say that all potential slayers are targets...this sounds like the work of the First Evil. I thought you guys had taken care of it three years ago?" Wesley couldn't put all the pieces together; there were so many blank spots.

"This time it's not the First that I'm sure of, but our assailants are targeting all the potentials, killing them and leaving behind a sign branded on their skin." Immediately Buffy removed a couple of photos from her inside coat pocket.

Spreading them on the front desk of the lobby, they all gather around to see them.

"I've never seen a sign like this, definitely goes back a couple of millenniums." Spike commented as he took one of the photos and walked over to Illyria.

Grabbing it from him she studied the sign, it came from her time here on earth millions of years ago, if she could just remember what it meant, Illyira could feel everyone's eyes on her.

"Do you recognize it?" Wesley asked.

"Yes, I now remember. It means "The Order" it was a sign that was branded into the skins of all humans that were exterminated for reasons far greater than the purpose that they served on this earth. Perhaps these potentials of yours were in the way or they are a sacrifice of some sort.

"But for what?" Buffy asked out loud, not targeting the question to anyone specifically. Running her hand through her shoulder length, now brown hair, Spike suddenly noticed something quite interesting on her left hand – a wedding band.

Immediately he looked over at Angel who also had seen it. Shaking their head they both decided to focus on the important task in front of them and ignore such curiosities.

"This "Order" are they a cult?" Giles asked, the direness of the situation had both him and Buffy completely frazzled. Their slayers were being murdered one by one, at an alarming rate. Soon the entire line of slayers would be completely gone and he was afraid that Buffy would be next.

"They were the first vampires to walk the earth, although rare now in days they are far stronger then regular vampires...the sun doesn't affect them at all. The only thing that can harm them is killing the most powerful one, their leader, kill him and the rest are dead too." Illyria explained calmly.

"They're trying to kill all the slayers in order to what?" Giles asked, now he knew who they were up against, but for what reason were they killing?

"That I don't know, but their original purpose is to rule all immortals in order to build a strong army. With this army then they would take over the entire world, rule it and be worshipped as the old Gods use to..." she trailed of remembering the shouts of her army when she would stand before them. But that had been a long time ago and no longer of any importance to her.

"World dominance and they're vampires. Getting rid of the entire line of slayers will provide them free unrestricted access to the world." Angel finally put all the pieces of the puzzle together.

The six of them looked around at each other; this was far worst then anything else. Apocalypses, demons, regular vampires, and witches – they were use to, but this...this meant the entire world. They had to stop them before they killed all the slayers. If all the slayers were annihilated then there would be nothing stopping them from conquering the earth.

"Get all the potentials that are left and bring them here. We have enough room to house them all and it will also force them to come to us", Wesley once more assumed the role of leader that he had thought long gone. He could feel the adrenalin running once more though his body, it had been such a long time but it felt as if he had never been gone in the first place. Perhaps he had been wrong about not being meant to fight the war between good and evil....

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Did you see what was on her bloody finger?" Spike asked Angel as they both walked into his room. Sitting down on one of the leather chairs he waited for Angel as he changed in the bathroom.

"Yeah, I saw it, it was a wedding band."

"Bloody right! I say we sit her down and demand an explanation..." Spike's rambling was cut short by Angel's stern look.

"It's been three years Spike, she's nothing of ours now and has all the right in the world to move on with her life" Angel was right but still it hurt to accept that she had moved on, clearly forgotten them.

"I wonder who she married? Probably some English twit or worst...one of those Italian stallions!" Spike bitterly cried out, totally ignoring Angel's last comment and still as curious as hell.

"Well, if you're that curious maybe you can talk to Giles, he should know." Angel offered and moved to go back down stairs.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"There are four slayers remaining, not including Buffy and Faith. I have already talked to Faith and she would be here by morning with the other slayers." Giles informed them all as he took a seat. Rubbing his weary eyes he felt as if he hadn't slept in twenty years.

Looking over at Buffy he gave her a small smile, although she didn't like to show it, she was scared. Not only was her life in danger but also their child's. No one knew, only the two of them – Buffy was two months pregnant and scared out of her mind for her baby's protection.

Not long ago she had come back from Italy and told him that she had always loved him, that there was no one else that could understand her the way he did and that she wanted to spend the rest of her days with him. The moment she had declared her feelings for him he had been the happiest man on earth! Never in a million years had he thought that she would reciprocate his love.

Quickly they had wed, having a small very secret wedding with only the old gang present. Just when they had finally gotten the Council truly up and going, running smoothly, the murder spree had begun. The same day they had found the first slayer dead Buffy had told him that she was pregnant. Now not only was her life in danger, but also their child's. There was far more riding on this then they all knew...they just had to stop this thing. Failure was not an option this time!

TBC


	8. Talk To Me

Open Your Eyes: Talk to Me

The night seemed to never end, it was only two in the morning and he felt as if a week had already gone by. No one could sleep so they all spread out through out the lobby and did their own thing. The only one that seemed to have no problem sleeping was Buffy, who finally crashed around one thirty next to Giles on the lobby sofa.

As for him, he now eyed Illyria sitting on the steps leading up to the second floor. Her hair was loose and she had her nose buried in a book. For a minute he was reminded of Fred, but he knew that it wasn't. Everything about her now screamed Illyria instead of Fred. Her body was relaxed and confident, unlike Fred's shy and introverted one.

Moving over to her side, Wesley now sat next to her, waiting for her to acknowledge him.

"What do you want?" she asked, not looking up from her book.

"I want to finish our conversation...before I was interrupted." He offered.

Finally she looked up from the book to his blue eyes, but unlike hers, his carried a depth to them that only an individual that had lived a world of pain could possess.

With her undivided attention he went ahead, whatever he had planned to tell her on the plane, completely forgotten.

"I'm sorry about what I said to you earlier on, you're not an abomination, I only said it to hurt you, drive you away from me." At Illyria's puzzled expression he knew that he had touched a rough spot.

"In fact you're the opposite. I realized that you're a miracle Illyria. The way you managed to win your mortality, but most of all, the way you've grown into an exceptional human being..." Wesley now felt as if he would throw up, for the first time in his life his hands shook due to his nervousness.

Bringing his shacking hand to her baby-soft cheek, a tear rolled down her eye and onto his hand. "There's such a bright light within you...such life. It's absolutely contagious Illyria; I want to feel that life too. There's something inside of me beginning to grow and you're responsible for it."

"What is this something that's growing inside of you?" she asked, still not fully understanding what he was saying to her.

"Here" he placed her hand over his heart, "right here, it's growing with each day by your side. I tried to deny it because I thought it was unfair to Fred, but now I realized that loving you has nothing to do with her. Her soul is gone and yours now resides within her body...or should I say your body. I will always love her, she was my first love...but you, you've surpassed that...you're the love of my life."

A smile began to spread on her face as she looked into his eyes, had he just told her that he loved her? That she was the love of his life? Yes, he had.

They both moved in and were now holding tightly to each other as they relish the feel of each other. Wesley finally let out the breath he had been holding.Everything, he finally concluded, in his life had all been a prelude to her. Being sent to California, having been fired from the Council, joining Angel Investigations, loosing Fred – all of it had been the road to her. A soul both wise beyond her years and also as naïve as a new born babe.

Bringing his mouth to hers, their lips barely touch as they both began to close in on the space between them. He could feel their softness, although he had already kissed Fred, this was different...somehow all new to him.

Right when their lips were grazing each other the doors of the hotel burst open, Faith and five teenager girls standing behind her.

"We're here!" she announced with a smile, trying to cover up the fear that gripped her.

TBC


End file.
